This is my journey ~PrasthAna means "system" or "course" in the sense of a journey; traya just means "threefold." It refers to the three sources of knowledge of the Self (shabda), nyAya prasthAna, shruti and smRRiti.( My translation of the three sources of knowledge of the Self: mind, body soul.)
Michael Fukumura went from being a government lawyer in Washington, D.C. to a yoga instructor and surfing fanatic in San Diego. This is the story of why he left.
This is a video clip of my yoga instructor. He is the one that really showed me how to connect and ground myself in yoga and a large part of my practice has been influenced by him. I know little background about him but this video to me was priceless. I appreciate all he has taught me and influenced me with. I hold him in high respect and gratitude.
I want to live simply. I want to sit by the window when it rains and read books I'll never be tested on. I want to paint because I want to not because I've got something to prove. I want my body to fall asleep when the moon is high and wake up slowly, with no place to rush off to. I want not be governed by money or clocks or any of the artificial restraints that humanity imposes on itself. I just want to be, boundless and infinite.
Okay, I haven't been here in a while.... Life has been busy.... work has been busy.... and writing has been sacrificed to make way for personal time of meditation and staying balanced. However, a business associate shared a post on FB that bears passing along so I've managed to wander back and remember forgotten log-ins and passwords to repeat the story. Be mindful. Be present.
As Told by Trish Meyler~
This has been an emotional week on many levels. Yesterday I witnessed the purest, truest love that I will never forget. Waiting in the lobby of Kaiser, (my meet your new doctor appt.), I heard a man, probably mid to late 60s say to a woman, "Nancy. Nancy, where are you going? Come sit down over here." She slowly kept walking while looking down at her feet, step by step and sat down in a different chair. He let it go and waited in his seat. He proceeded to pick up a magazine from the table next to him and as he was reading she slowly, quietly got up and walked across the room and before he knew it she was standing right in front of an elderly man, mid to late 80s. I watched as the man held his hand out and she placed her hand in his. Her husband, quietly apologized to the man as he got up to bring her back to the seat next to him. The man kindly shook his head and smiled and said, "Oh, no sorries." As Nancy sat back down she lowered her head into her hands and begin to sob. Her husband just rubbed her back and sweetly said, "You're ok love, you're ok." The woman sitting next to them, that had a few conversations with the husband during all of this, of which I couldn't hear, said to Nancy, "Let's go for a walk", and they did. She talked softly to Nancy, and showed her the mosaic tiles on the wall, talked about how beautiful they were and told Nancy that they reminded her of a quilt. Nancy just walked slowly and never said a word. During the walk her husband received a phone call from a friend and he told his friend that he was at Kaiser with Nancy and explained to him that Nancy had Alzheimer's, that it wasn't good and was quickly getting worse. He said that it was ok, they were ok, that it's "life". Of course at this point I'm bawling, trying my best for no one to notice. They took two laps and the lady walking with Nancy sees me and stops and asks if I'm ok. All I could think was, oh I am, please just keep walking, I'm sorry to distract you and I don't want to upset Nancy. She then asks me if I need a hug. Little did she know she was a part of why I was crying. At the end of their walk Nancy's husband helped her softly sit back down and he told her, "I've loved you a long time Nancy. A long time. I will love you for always."
Life is too short, love with everything you've got.
This is not my post. This came to me via Andrea Balt who is the Co-Founder/Editor in Chief of Rebelle Society. It spoke to me right where I needed it. It reminded me crazy can be a good thing. May this touch your hidden piece of crazy in your soul and invoke you to bring it forth.... Lucy p.s. When listening to the video be sure to turn the volume up WAY loud or you might thing something is wrong with the sound but there isn't, wait for it and read the words after while the music plays. Om Shanti. “‘There’s a good kind of crazy…’ he insisted softly, reaching out to wrap his warm hand around mine. ‘It’s the kind that makes you think about things that make your head hurt, because not thinking about them is the coward’s way out. The kind that makes you touch people who bruise your soul, just because they need to be touched. This is the kind of crazy that lets you stare out into the darkness and rage at eternity, while it stares back at you, ready to swallow you whole.’” (Rachel Vincent)
If you’ve ever been swallowed by the same eternity — posing as darkness, posing as undomesticated, unscripted, messy you… or if you’re just the foolish kind that jumps off cliffs with no parachute, even though it hurts, because… well, because it’s the right and truthful thing to do…
And if, say you’re somewhat lonely – though not alone, somewhat sad — though not broken, and somewhat tired — though wide awake and restless, please stand up.
Take a deep breath. Clear your throat. Look your Self in the eyes. Place your hand over your beaten heart. And let’s declare our independence from the norm.
But first, press play. ‘Cause Crazy without Epic is… just Cray.
1. I will remember what it was like to be born, and all the beautiful things I used to point at before I could speak them. I’ll reinvent curiosity and memorize delight.
2. I will forgive, because no one survives. I’ll keep the bruises but get rid of the blue. I’ll kiss my Judas back. (I have my own crosses to carry).
3. I will believe in ghosts and fairy tales. And elves and science fiction. I won’t declare a world impossible until I’ve tried to build it with my hands and when my pulse shakes like a leaf, I’ll say sure, let’s, why not.
4. I will fight with the sword of my tongue, not my fists. I’ll also fight with my silence and lips. And turn all my blood into metaphor and blossom my way into fierce cherry trees.
5. I will love like it’s the end of the world and the house is on fire. And if it’s not, I’ll bring the matches. I’ll love even when I don’t, or when I lose, or when love’s fleeting like sunsets or thick like bone or long or heavy or boring, like this Book of Life I’m never done reading and writing.
8. I will create a thousand planets from scratch, and then I’ll add them to the Milky Way so I can help expand the universe. I’ll make up a new language out of dust and come up with a hundred different ways to say your name.
9. I will be honest rather than loyal. Because to get through the dark forests of life you need a lamp, not a shadow, and trust is not a blind soldier but the soul’s one and only chief of staff.
10. I will be wild and untamed. I will believe in wolves. I’ll be insane, uncivilized, emotional and personal. And I will take the ring to Mordor even if I don’t know where Mordor is. I’ll be the child I left behind. I’ll be the door and key to me.
11. And when I come to die, the only thing I will regret is leaving all my stories, unfinished, on your chest. But I should hope to live in such a way, that time would breathe me out and back into your lungs, until there’s no more me or you or words or why.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this but I work on my laptop seemingly sometime around the clock it's required by my job.... though I'm not sure if you can call my work a job. You see I work for the man I love. Yes, it's work, yes - it's a job but basically I'm a "His Girl Friday" This really has nothing to do with what I'm going to say but I thought you may need some background atmosphere. I work on my laptop constantly and let's face it sometimes I get distracted. Did I mention I have ADD? On one of my very recent distractions I began doing research on rings. I like unusual jewelry and am looking for a unique piece for my right hand. It is then I came across the work of Ashley Weber. Her work is amazing, original and everything in between. I made an inquiry about her work and we connected through Instagram where she saw my images and made a comment on one. I ended up checking our her blog site and this was the first post I read of hers. The impact was monumental.
A few years ago, I was a different person.
Fueled by something that had only grown larger by the day.
Three stamps from going postal.
A few years ago I was not only unhappy, I was angry.
Fire ran through every vein.
Toxic thoughts and something so painful I could hardly hold on.
My whole world- something burning, something molten, mind run by an indescribable demon that I had let myself fall victim to.
I gave in, gave up, gave way too much.
I failed to see the sprouts of life growing from in between the cracks of concrete- the perfect geometry of a succulent- the survival instincts written deep in the bones of the animals around me.
I was so lost, so deep in my pain, that I walked through life with my eyes closed.
What I could see was black and white, and what I didn't know, didn't exist.
It was one day on vacation, driving with a friend, that I said... this is it.
Things are going to change.
Things have to change.
Today I am a success story.
A girl looking through the 8 eyes of a spider at every tiny, beautiful thing.
Today, the world around me is more giving, more glorious, far more vibrant than I could ever even begin to believe.
As another friend of mine preaches to me daily, "Success is deliberate."
If you truly want something you wont make excuses.
You'll fall and you will rise.
You'll look to the sky instead of down at your feet.
You'll hold on with both hands and your heart.
And you'll keep swimming.
You will swim no matter how deep you sink.
Because you want it.
You honestly and wholeheartedly want it.
That day I instilled in myself the power of positive thinking.
Rejecting the negative.
Refusing the ugly.
Relinquishing the past. Never looking back.
And today, I am here.
Today, every color within me shines.
I am happy.
Genuinely, perfectly, undeniably, happy.
Thank you to everyone who has ever supported me.
Thank you for reading my words.
Thank you for understanding that I too, am human.
Thank you for letting me be honest.
Thank you for letting me leave my past behind.
I was speechless.... someone else just wrote about me. My life. I am a success story. I did go postal- I survived and the thought that struck me after reading Ashley's words made me realize that as women we are not alone. We don't love ourselves. We try to get love by making our significant other love us or our children love us or pets or whatever is the most important thing that consumes our lives when simply, we should love ourselves. Then maybe we wouldn't have the expectations we have of everyone else.
My man left on a business trip today. I told him "I love you." He automatically said, "I love you too." I stumbled a little over my words, Firstly- wanting to get them out right and secondly I didn't want the airport police to tell me "Get a move on." But I managed to say it. "I don't want you to say I love you just because I say I love you. I don't expect it." He said, "Okay." I turned to get in the car with the realization that those words alone were freeing. I don't need anyone to tell me they love me. I can love them with no expectations. I smiled from the center of my being. I smiled even more when I heard him say from behind me with emphasis, "I love you too - understood?" I responded with simply, "Understood." I think I smiled such a dumb ass smile all the way home.
When you can actually implement the words you write on the pieces of paper plastered on your fridge or bulletin board or whatever you use for inspiration even your Facebook Page. When you actually DO IT not just see it, read it. That scary step of change is BIG, it's LIFE CHANGING. But you can. You can be a survivor.
"Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene." A.C. Benson
You can't just get the warm fuzzies, and press the like button you have to change. Don't be afraid. Take the leap. You can do it!