Alive

photo credit: Lucy Lucille

I want to be guided by older-ups. I want babies to be born where old people die. I want to be sandwiched in the middle of a messy togetherness.

I want to be warned before I do something stupid. I want to be forgiven when I do it anyway. I want wisdom to be tapped out on my eardrums and not Googled. I want transitions to be recognized by fire.

I want gifts to be educed from children and teenagers and adults and I want to mean something to my community. I want to get drunk on substance morning and night.

I want to hear your dreams. I want to raise a revolution for gentleness. I want to call out the bullshit on consensus reality. I want billboards along the highways with validations not some shit that society tries to sell you.

I don't want to be another faker. I don't want to show you my good side and hide my humanity and flaws. I don't want to dole you out my SELF in digestible status-chunks. I want to challenge you in long drawn-out rituals and still find you interested.

I want to feed you seventeen course meals made with spices I crushed. I want to recite you circular poems, each beginning cutting a deeper grasp. I want to make you feel something, even if it's awkward. I want to sing songs which are ancient and new.

I want to find places we've never been. And then, I want to return there, but backwards.

I want to shuffle up words so we don't sleep through them. I want to learn things and then be splashed into never forgetting. I want to make you feel seen. I want to hold your pounding heart in my gentlest of hands. I want to make your thing feel my thing.

I don't want to miss a moment. I want to dig at the bottom and find it false.  I want to turn up unknown depths. I want to stand in this hurricane and sing the sweetest, most naked song you can bear. 

I want to be alive with you.