Saturday, September 14, 2013

the crazies' manifesto


This is not my post. This came to me via Andrea Balt who is the Co-Founder/Editor in Chief of Rebelle Society.  It spoke to me right where I needed it.
It reminded me crazy can be a good thing. May this touch your hidden piece of crazy in your soul and invoke you to bring it forth....

Lucy

p.s. When listening to the video be sure to turn the volume up WAY loud or you might thing something is wrong with the sound but there isn't, wait for it and read the words after while the music plays. Om Shanti.

“‘There’s a good kind of crazy…’ he insisted softly, reaching out to wrap his warm hand around mine. ‘It’s the kind that makes you think about things that make your head hurt, because not thinking about them is the coward’s way out. The kind that makes you touch people who bruise your soul, just because they need to be touched. This is the kind of crazy that lets you stare out into the darkness and rage at eternity, while it stares back at you, ready to swallow you whole.’” (Rachel Vincent)

Dear Crazy,

If you’ve ever been swallowed by the same eternity — posing as darkness, posing as undomesticated, unscripted, messy you… or if you’re just the foolish kind that jumps off cliffs with no parachute, even though it hurts, because… well, because it’s the right and truthful thing to do…
And if, say you’re somewhat lonely – though not alone, somewhat sad — though not broken, and somewhat tired — though wide awake and restless, please stand up.
Take a deep breath. Clear your throat. Look your Self in the eyes. Place your hand over your beaten heart. And let’s declare our independence from the norm.
But first, press play. ‘Cause Crazy without Epic is… just Cray.



1. I will remember what it was like to be born, and all the beautiful things I used to point at before I could speak them. I’ll reinvent curiosity and memorize delight.

2. I will forgive, because no one survives. I’ll keep the bruises but get rid of the blue. I’ll kiss my Judas back. (I have my own crosses to carry).

3. I will believe in ghosts and fairy tales. And elves and science fiction. I won’t declare a world impossible until I’ve tried to build it with my hands and when my pulse shakes like a leaf, I’ll say sure, let’s, why not.

4. I will fight with the sword of my tongue, not my fists. I’ll also fight with my silence and lips. And turn all my blood into metaphor and blossom my way into fierce cherry trees.

5. I will love like it’s the end of the world and the house is on fire. And if it’s not, I’ll bring the matches. I’ll love even when I don’t, or when I lose, or when love’s fleeting like sunsets or thick like bone or long or heavy or boring, like this Book of Life I’m never done reading and writing.

6. I will live every day like it never happened before or like a tune to a song still unwritten. And I’ll record every hour on my face, and in this short-lived human dilemma, I’ll try to be in all my pictures, heartbeats, adventures and wrinkles.

7. I will dream up my reality. I won’t be reasonable or realistic. I’ll write sideways on lined paper and I’ll always put heart over matter and imagination over knowledge.

8. I will create a thousand planets from scratch, and then I’ll add them to the Milky Way so I can help expand the universe. I’ll make up a new language out of dust and come up with a hundred different ways to say your name.

9. I will be honest rather than loyal. Because to get through the dark forests of life you need a lamp, not a shadow, and trust is not a blind soldier but the soul’s one and only chief of staff.

10. I will be wild and untamed. I will believe in wolves. I’ll be insane, uncivilized, emotional and personal. And I will take the ring to Mordor even if I don’t know where Mordor is. I’ll be the child I left behind. I’ll be the door and key to me.

11. And when I come to die, the only thing I will regret is leaving all my stories, unfinished, on your chest. But I should hope to live in such a way, that time would breathe me out and back into your lungs, until there’s no more me or you or words or why.

Friday, September 6, 2013

Today I am a Success Story.....

I'm not sure if I mentioned this but I work on my laptop seemingly sometime around the clock it's required by my job.... though I'm not sure if you can call my work a job.  You see I work for the man I love. Yes, it's work, yes - it's a job but basically I'm a "His Girl Friday" This really has nothing to do with what I'm going to say but I thought you may need some background atmosphere.

I work on my laptop constantly and let's face it sometimes I get distracted. Did I mention I have ADD? On one of my very recent distractions I began doing research on rings. I like unusual jewelry and am looking for a unique piece for my right hand.  It is then I came across the work of Ashley Weber.  Her work is amazing, original and everything in between. I made an inquiry about her work and we connected through Instagram where she saw my images and made a comment on one.  I ended up checking our her blog site and this was the first post I read of hers. The impact was monumental.



A few years ago, I was a different person.
Fueled by something that had only grown larger by the day.
Three stamps from going postal.

A few years ago I was not only unhappy, I was angry.
Fire ran through every vein.
Toxic thoughts and something so painful I could hardly hold on.
My whole world- something burning, something molten, mind run by an indescribable demon that I had let myself fall victim to.
I gave in, gave up, gave way too much.

I failed to see the sprouts of life growing from in between the cracks of concrete- the perfect geometry of a succulent- the survival instincts written deep in the bones of the animals around me.
I was so lost, so deep in my pain, that I walked through life with my eyes closed.
What I could see was black and white, and what I didn't know, didn't exist.

It was one day on vacation, driving with a friend, that I said... this is it.
Things are going to change.
Things have to change.

Today I am a success story.
A survivor.
A girl looking through the 8 eyes of a spider at every tiny, beautiful thing.
Today, the world around me is more giving, more glorious, far more vibrant than I could ever even begin to believe.
---

As another friend of mine preaches to me daily, "Success is deliberate."
If you truly want something you wont make excuses.
You'll fall and you will rise.
You'll look to the sky instead of down at your feet.
You'll hold on with both hands and your heart.
And you'll keep swimming.
You will swim no matter how deep you sink.
Because you want it.
You honestly and wholeheartedly want it.

That day I instilled in myself the power of positive thinking.
Rejecting the negative.
Refusing the ugly.
Relinquishing the past.
Never looking back.

And today, I am here.
Today, every color within me shines.
Today...

I am happy.
Genuinely, perfectly, undeniably, happy.
--------------------------------------------------------

Thank you to everyone who has ever supported me.
Thank you for reading my words.
Thank you for understanding that I too, am human.
Thank you for letting me be honest.
Thank you for letting me leave my past behind.

You are appreciated far beyond words.

xo
-A