Monday, February 18, 2013

Post-Valentine Contemplation....

Valentines Day has come and gone and with it I observed all of the silly things I watched others do in "celebration" of this holiday.  So many people missing the mark, doing it for all the wrong reasons, putting undo expectations on their so called partner or significant other, not to mention the news stations and commercials were the worst! The celebration should be every day, not just once a year. It's not about candy, chocolates, jewelry.  How many couples do you know with true balance in their relationships? 

Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with anyone else. This person will see everything in you and love you in spite of yourself.  They will make you re-evaluate everything you have ever known.

I've been in my share of relationships; many of those were pretty messed up. The basis wasn't just because of me or because of them but many other factors on either side that were just not right.

Here are just a few of the lessons I've learned in that short span.

1. If things aren't right in your relationship and neither party is happy things will never be right in bed and being in bed and having good sex is crucial to both parties. You may find yourself resentful and that resentment will continue to grow- in and out of bed .

2. Communication, if you can't communicate honestly even in the little things you are putting yourself up for failure.  One of the best books I've ever read is "Lying" by Sam Harris.  It will make you reevaluate your communication skills with anyone and everyone you come into contact with.

3. To be truly happy- you have to look with in and change yourself.  You will never change others by trying to make them be different.  The moment you focus on yourself, acknowledging your insecurities is the moment you will experience true change! You have to embrace the dark to see the light.

4. Allow the other person to be who they are.  When you can do that they will feel the depth of your love.  It doesn't mean you're going to be a doormat and it doesn't mean you're going to like everything they do but it does mean you allow them to be real. If you can't let them be real- they won't be real with you or anyone else for that matter.


Live well, laugh often, love with depth,

Lucy