Monday, January 21, 2013


I haven't posted for a while. There have been a lot of life issues- the shooting at Sandy Hook, the loss of one my son's classmates who was only eight. And trying to wrap my brain around it has been a thought in process. How do we deal with it? How do we make a difference. We all struggle, on and off the mat.  I try to translate what I do on the mat into my daily life off the mat.  It's not always easy. 

I have a particular issue with someone and no matter how I turn, this person always wants to blow it up the opposite way.  I've changed. I've worked hard at it and I refuse to be drawn into something from my past. Sometimes I don't talk about it because I feel it feeds that fire that this person so wants to build and not move beyond the past. I refuse to get drawn into a battle of tit for tat.  Does it solve anything? No. Does it make me feel any better? No.  Eckhart Tolle said it best in his book A New Earth, "A person in the grip of ego, however, does not recognize suffering as suffering, but will look upon it as the only appropriate response in any given situation. The ego in it's blindness is incapable of seeing the suffering it inflicts on itself and others." Basically it's saying - I'm holding you responsible for my my pain.  He further goes to say, "For example, anger or resentment strengthen the ego enormously by increasing the sense of separateness, emphasizing the otherness of others and creating a seemingly unassailable fortresslike mental position of "rightness".

When I received that email from that person I admit, I was rattled.  I felt anger. I wanted to reach back and say who do you think you are in all your self-righteousness, but what I do on the mat carries to how I am off the mat.  I couldn't.  I realize the issue is EGO and when I get defensive it means my EGO is getting in the way. I'm not saying it's easy. I spent a good hour yesterday and today in meditation and prayer to get myself into a place I needed to be to move beyond it.  Not to be redundant but it wasn't easy- I started off with monkey mind all over the place but look where I'm at now.  I can finally write and I've been wanting to do that since the Sandy Hook tragedy.

I woke up this morning with this as my intention, I share it with you.

Today is the perfect day to consider the Sanskrit word, ahimsa, which means kindness and nonviolence toward all living things.

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. 
Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.
~Martin Luther King

In Light and Love,